More Post-Washington Times Craft Column links

This article was written in the midst of all that royal wedding fever. Hats were the winner of the whole event.
The royal hat fascination

Mad hatters of the world unite!

Hats have been enjoying perfect planetary alignment, first with a fashion renaissance and now a royal wedding. Sales for blocked hats such as fedoras are not just "all-the-rage" among Hollywood actors and Williamsburg hipsters. Many retail chains, such as J. Crew,  report robust hat sales this season. Thanks to the British, the savants of the hat world, this Friday’s royal wedding promises to be a real hatapalooza.

Once the "must-have fashion accessory" up until the early sixties, hats suffered a certain death when better beauty through science, and a swanky American president entered the scene. The allure of a good chapeau then became the exclusive domain of American Southern church ladies & Kentucky Derby fashionistas, Europeans, Rat Pack enthusiasts, and donkeys who pull buggies through tourist districts.

Just because you didn’t receive an engraved royal invite doesn’t mean you can’t participate in spirit, or in headgear. Construct your own hair fascinator, the hat made trendy by princess-to-be Kate Middleton, to wear in front of the TV at o’dark-hundred this Friday morning.

A hair fascinator sits somewhere between a simple hair accessory and a small, fancy cocktail hat. Over-the-top hats such as fascinators are the perfect way to embrace the royal wedding spirit. The fascinator is an addictive accessory that will serve you well beyond Friday’s royal nuptials. It's ideal for any occasion, such as garden and tea parties, spring picnics, or post-solstice animal sacrifices to pagan gods.

Whether you’re attending a refined afternoon getogether or a raucous cocktail soiree, the fascinator makes a perfect one-of-a-kind accessory that’s sure to give all your friends a serious case of head envy. 

So channel your inner milliner and construct your very own hair fascinator and enjoy the royal wedding hat-o-rama.

 

 

Supplies:

• clip, hair comb or headband.
• felt sheets
• 5-inch x 3.5-inch oval template
• tulle or other netting
• glue gun
• misc. lightweight objects or plumage to use as adornments
• scissors
• pins
• needle & thread or sewing machine

Directions: 

1. Ponder your personality and the occasion, come up with a color scheme, then hit the dollar store hard for decorations.
2. Using the oval template, cut two ovals out of felt.
3. Using a needle and thread, stitch and gather one end of the netting. Pull until pleated.
4. Sandwich the netting between the 2 black felt ovals and pin into place before sewing or handstitching into one piece.
5. Carefully arrange adornments on top of oval felt piece. When satisfied with a pleasing arrangement, use the glue gun to fasten the adornments into place.

6. Fasten to a clip, hair comb or headband to the underside. 

Suggested adornments:

• plumage/feathers
• beads
• fake flowers
• tea cup/tea kettle from a children’s play set
• fake crown/tiara and royal jewels
• plastic fruit, toys, animals, cars
• miniature, lightweight bird house
• old 45’s
• plastic cake top bride & groom

Perfect for this gift-giving season: Coasters: Great gifts for bad planners

Coast your way through another unexpected birthday gift between paychecks with these easy handmade coasters. This project is a real crowd-pleaser (the craft equivalent of that ubiquitous spinach dip that shows up at parties). 

The coaster is nothing if not versatile. Is grandma a former burlesque dancer from back in the day? Showcase old pics of her fresh-baked goodies on a set of coasters. Forgot your butcher’s birthday for the third year in a row? Coasters with sexy shots of Kobe beef and tender pork chops pair nicely with a 6-pack of beer.    

Supplies:

• bathroom or kitchen tiles. Troll the tile aisle at the local hardware store for the ceramic tiles. Non-glazed is the tile of choice, but glazed will suffice with the help of a mild sand paper.  
• stencil(s)/scrap paper(s)/picture(s) of your choosing
• acrylic paint (pick a color)
• Mod Podge
• hot-glue gun and glue sticks
• scissors
• foam squares

Directions

1. Brush the ceramic tile with a liberal coat of acrylic paint. Add another coat if the color of the tile is still visible after drying. Allow 20 minutes to dry between coats.

 

2. Choose a design that you would like to paint or glue to the paper. Paper can be Mod Podged onto the tile, and then sealed with another layer brushed on top. Be sure to smooth out any bubbles. Let dry 20 minutes.

3. Once the top has been allowed to dry completely, use the hot-glue gun to fasten the foam squares to the four corners at the bottom. This will prevent the coaster from scratching the surface

4. Put the finishing touches on your coaster by adding extra touches like plastic beads, tulle, rhinestones, etc.

Post-Washington Times Craft Column links

Links for some of my best articles from my old column:
Did you know it's okay to talk about baby poop, but not menstruation? Since the day the school nurse took us girls behind a curtained stage, I have resented the secrecy and shame that surrounds the period. Through the therapeutic powers of craft, I have learned to defiantly (and jokingly) exorcise the negativity.

Let them bleed cake! Menstrual Celebration Cake

So many insignificant occurrences are celebrated, yet the bigger events aren’t. Secretary’s Day, for example, has its own lunch special. But what of the special day that secretary got her first period as a young girl?

Hallmark doesn’t have a card for that. 

Our collective mouths are plugged with tampons of societal guilt. So many stories related to menstruation are both horrific and mortifying. The recurring themes of shame and embarrassment are heartbreaking. These menarche mishaps are suffered in silence and surrounded by secrecy because society deems menstruation a taboo subject.

We need to learn to laugh about it and open the lines of communication so that another young woman doesn’t have to be scarred by the humiliation of something so natural and normal and exciting.

A young girl’s entry into womanhood is a big deal that deserves to be celebrated. It’s a powerful thing that signifies womanhood, reproduction and the stuff of life.

So let them eat cake. This fun craft project is a multi-tiered fake cake constructed from tampons and pads. And chocolate. It’s a parody on diaper cakes because we live in a society where we can openly embrace the idea of baby poop, but not menstruation.

Working on this project should help to desensitize the issue, and even poke fun and inject much-needed humor. It’s time to talk openly and not liken menstruation to disease. It takes away its negative power over us and replaces it with positive ownership.  

Supplies

• approximately 18 overnight maxi pads, individually wrapped in plastic
• approximately 12 regular pads, individually wrapped in plastic
• approximately 11 pantie liners, individually wrapped in elastic
• approximately 8 tampons
• scissors
• scotch tape
• at least 4 standard-sized rubber bands
• a package of small, clear rubber bands
• thick, red ribbon
• round piece of cardboard for the base (an old album cover works well) 
• small chocolates
• 16-oz. bottle of water 
• black marker
• bag of red strips of paper

Assemblage

Place the bottle of water at the center of the cardboard base.

Roll up each pad like a little Barbie-sized sleeping bags and secure each roll with a small rubber band. A small piece of tape on each one will help maintain a tight roll.

Use a regular rubber band to surround the bottle with a layer of the largest pads. Use another rubber band to add a second layer of sanitary napkins to form the base of the cake.

Create a second tier around the water bottle with a single layer of regular-sized pads. 

Use a single layer of pantie liners to create a third tier.

Top with tampons, creating a fourth tampon tier.

Decorating
Start by decorating each layer with a ribbon thick enough to cover the rubber bands.

Measure out the ribbon to wrap around each layer, then cut. Using a black marker, write different slang words for menstruation on the ribbon. Fasten ribbon to cake layer with tape or simply tie a bow in the back.

Place small chocolates inside the center of each rolled up pad.

Add crimped paper strips to the top so that it resembles blood gushing off of the top of the cake. Nestle Hershey’s kisses to the top of the first tier.


other ideas:
Create a smaller, one-tiered version to commemorate a happy ending to a pregnancy scare.  

In this dystopian society, even adults need security blankets...
Waterproof blanket for an uncertain future

In The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy trilogy, Douglas Adams asserts that a towel is the must-have item a traveller should always keep on hand while traipsing through space.

In Adams’ universe, where the least probable scenario is the most likely outcome, it becomes necessary to prepare for the most improbable future by arming oneself with the least probable armor. The single best go-to object, therefore, is a towel. As Adams writes, “any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is, is clearly a man to be reckoned with." 

If one can wax poetic about a towel, imagine what could be said of a blanket. Blankets are, after all, the cornerstone of civilization. Without them, it would be necessary to sleep in padded pajamas to avoid sleep-othermia. In addition to keeping us warm, blankets are an architectural wonder unparalleled by any other building material known to man in the construction of forts. Still, the blanket’s biggest contribution to humankind is its ability to help hide and protect us from closet monsters.

Of course, there are more likely scenarios that would require the aid of a blanket. You never know when you’ll have to spend the night in your car during a blizzard or be called upon to perform an impression of Count Dracula. Also, life is dotted with the occasional picnic, outdoor music festival, and the ever-impending threat of a rogue comet and/or nuclear winter.   

The blanket also possesses the potential for less conventional uses. For example, you may find yourself having to use it to barter for food and water after a zombie apocalypse. A blanket could earn a delicious half-chicken on a particularly beneficial post-apocalyptic barter, whereas a towel might only yield two slices of bread and a half-bottle of lukewarm water of questionable purity.  

Given the plethora of different scenarios the future holds, it is therefore recommended that you create a blanket with many different scenarios in mind. It’s almost like creating your own insurance plan, planning for future blanket scenarios, both fortuitous and disastrous. The proper approach to life is to plan for both future picnics and apocalypses alike. Because life is unpredictable.

Materials: 

3 yds thick fabric
3 yds waterproof Utilitycloth
Package of 90 square inches of batting
3 packages double-sided bias tape
Sewing machine
Scissors
Marker
Measuring tape
Pins

Directions:
 

1. Cut 90” by 90” square of fabric (this will be between 2 and 3 yards).
2. Lay the utility cloth on a flat surface, wrong side up. Place the batting on top of the utility cloth. Next, layer the fabric cloth on top, right side up.
3. Pin the three layers together, then pin the double-biased tape around all four edges of the blanket.
4. Sew a ¼-inch seam onto the inner edge of the bias tape.

Now you’re better prepared for anything the future brings.  

DIY diaspora

Farewell ReadyMade

ReadyMade was an unbelievable brand that, since its inception in 2001, has inspired countless people across the world to rethink, reimagine, and reinterpret their everyday life. ReadyMade encouraged people to take a much broader view of what they might consider DIY. In the ReadyMade realm, DIY could mean everything from starting your own business to starting your own band. From building your own dining table out of discarded shipping pallets to growing your own food and cooking your own meal, ReadyMade was about taking your life into your own hands and shaping your own existence in any way you see fit. The ever-growing DIY movement truly encompasses every facet of our existence. The ReadyMade community will continue push DIY into the mainstream by building websites, writing blogs, taking photos, and most importantly, forming coherent opinions that are ours and only ours, and letting those be known. ReadyMade’s can-do spirit even in the most dire of circumstances has always been its life-blood and we know it will continue to be the driving force of ReadyMakers in the future. And this will keep us all going.

Consumers Heart Micro-preneurs

Here are some pics from last week's West Elm Hearts Handmade event at West Elm, Houston:

Zen and the art of thrift store shopping

Zen and the art of thrift store shopping

next article: Menarche (period) cakes

At long last: Something to celebrate and honor your period. Whether it's the first (menarche) or sweating out a late one, here is something to celebrate with: period cakes.

It'll be a parody on the diaper cake pictured, only with pads, tampons and chocolate. 

Why, you ask?  

So many insignificant occasions are celebrated, yet the bigger events go by unnoticed and unacknowledged. Secretary’s Day, for example, has a Hallmark card and a lunch special. But what of the special day that secretary got her first period as a young girl? There certainly was no Hallmark card or lunch special to celebrate that.    

So many stories related to a woman’s first menstrual cycle are both horrific and mortifying. These menarche mishaps are suffered in silence and surrounded by secrecy. It’s tainted with embarrassment and shame because society deems menstruation a taboo subject. Western society has robbed us of our right to celebrate. And so we never talk about it and are burdened with a secret and suffer each month in silence.

A young girl’s entry into womanhood is a big deal that deserves to be celebrated. It’s a powerful thing that signifies womanhood and reproduction and the stuff of life. We can help change the way it’s viewed by helping young women embrace this special event. Such positivity helps to promote a better self image.

When we think celebration, cake comes to mind. This fun craft project is a  sanitary napkin cake, a parody on diaper cakes. Because our period deserves its comeuppance, and we need to celebrate and laugh and start a dialogue and open the lines of communication so that another woman doesn’t have to be scarred by the humiliation of something so natural and normal and exciting.

Commencement BINGO!

Article on Commencement Bingo on Washington Times Communities.